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cambolog.blogspot.com

It's a departure.

And finally,

just before I step out of good Kongers, I'd like to tell everyone from Stanley to Sheung Shui: thank god you're here.

Well, why not?

For all of our patient fans, TIME OUT BURMA is finally here! Our first issue presents to our famously fabulous readers:

1) The top 10 most sinuous and scintillating rivers to plan your impromptu escape route!

2) How Aung San Suu Kyi took fashion tips from sultry Singapore sex-symbol Michelle Yeoh (and without even leaving the house)!

3) We're putting the 'E' in Emergency Evacuation! That's right folks, it's time for a Rangoon drug poll! Make sure to fill out our web form (accessible tomorrow from 22:23:57 - 22:23:59) and tell us your thoughts!

4) We hit the streets and find the most coveted clandestine camo-shops for you to gear up and dodge those junta bullets. The only ones hitting you this fashion season will be strays!

IN STORES TOMORROW!

I can't believe it,

but, it's goodbye Hong Kong.

If you ever read this blog
a)I'm sorry you were subjected to that;
b)and, it might continue, just based in the next location. That would be contingent on computer/Internet access, cross your fingers.

I will not miss the weird clockwork rush of alien-like suit people on the daily grind who don't move right and continuously step on the back of my sandals (which usually leads to me swearing out loud, which usually makes the general public wonder if I'm a schizo).

I definitely won't miss what my friends and I have repeatedly dubbed "fabulousity." Stop forcing it, people.

I will, however, miss a shit-ton about Kongers. Namely,
The MO lobby; beer flooded dai pai dong; walking home at any time of night and never worrying about crime; junks, junks, and more junks; the fact that you can actually hail a bus and my subsequent obsession with mini buses; my ghetto balcony that's gone from a dinner hang-out to an outdoor beer pong room; people named Rainbow; and, of course,

the normal people here who really are the best people in the world.

QANTAS.

With QANTAS in the HK news lately, I have to admit I'm not thinking about the strike or the struggle. Actually, all I can think about is that episode of Summer Heights High when Ja'mie King (a genius Chris Lilley at 2:20) tells Bec that QANTAS is doing some good deals on one-way tickets to China.

AKA:

I cannot rationalize

the UN office dress code here.

The entire future of a displaced / disenfranchised person is in your hands, but for fuck's sake that stenographer better not turn up in a pair of jeans.

Stout in bed with Elsie Leung?

Kristie Lu Stout tells Time Out that activism in HK is a "miracle" because "Hong Kong is a Chinese city after all."

Kristie, we don't expect you to go to bed with the HK Basic Law and the PRC Constitution sandwiching your pillow at night. On the other hand, the SAR part of HKSAR (which is pretty much on every map in the past decade and a half, ever, or on just about every company addressed letter) should be a dead give away that HK is a SAR, not a city.

We forgive you, though. One, Hong Kong City has a nice ring to it and sounds less like a virus than Hong Kong SAR. Two, it's a tough gig to be the poor man's Olivia Munn of CNN and there's a lot on your mind.

Japanese fusion best reserved for cuisine

and not strangely adopted first names.

Getting a blast-email from secretary Yuko Yuen is jarring.

This phenomenon of jarring Japanese names is unfortunately growing at a rapid pace. I, for the first time, encourage sticking to the usual 'Kennis' for guys and 'Flora' for girls. I'm now alright with it.

mocs and socks.

I get it.

Growing up Chinese is difficult. Your parents are tough, you're expected to deliver on everything, and the pressures of conforming to perfection can be crushing. The world knew this even before Amy Chua. 

So lashing out when the whole independence thing happens is pretty commonplace. 

But what the fuck is this:

This is Starbucks at 11am. And in Mid Levels, of all places.

Don't do this to me before 5pm.

No scotch in blood yet.

Actually dying.

Impossible.

NO.

Financier Bored, Turns to Writing Instead of K

Marginally attractive and low-level life and style publications press junkie Andrew Woodward publishes "The Water Dragon," a murder-mystery set in the Mid Levels.

While Woodward's book agent first responded with a long period of silence followed with profound confusion, the agent managed to snatch a prime deal with a London publishing company.

However, amid the usually quiet, there have been stirrings back in Woodward's Hong Kong neighborhood.

Rainbow Yuki Siu Lam-kai, an accounts manager at PwC, said, "I think this book is dangerous, because now there is no crime and what if crime happens because of the book."

Iceman Ng, a solicitor at Skadden, echoed the same concerns. "Hong Kong is a place of business," he said. "What is this book? Where am I?"

Word of mouth within the expat and local communities in Mid Levels have overlapped, agreeing that Woodward is a complete try-hard who gets off on plagiarizing Steig Larsson.